Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My feet surprised me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
