Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
