Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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