dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
