So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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