I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
