Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She needs sedatives and a leash
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize
