Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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