We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
two words: eviction party
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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