puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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