is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
