And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
