this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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