i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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