I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
