I cockslap morals
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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