Everything about him screamed your future.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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