So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
