I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Randomize
