is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
