I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Shame - the story of my life.
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