he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
