GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
