I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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