dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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