you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
