Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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