I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
