I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
