im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My feet surprised me
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