we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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