I faked an abortion last night.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize