I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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