its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
