He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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