Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
