It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
is wine microwaveable?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
