So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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