love makes seman taste better
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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