I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
