his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
