and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
