I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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