so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
