If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
