chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
