carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
