I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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