Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
my liver is dry heaving
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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