He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
