i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
