Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
