So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
