chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
