U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
its not stalking. its research.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
