Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
