My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
