best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
