dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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